I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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