marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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