i can't believe i had my finger in that
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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