just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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