I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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