I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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