I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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