Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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