every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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