omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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