My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The ass gains better be worth it
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