so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
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I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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