grandma shit on top of the toilet
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize