god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
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I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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