You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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