I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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