I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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