did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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