the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
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how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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