dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize