Define "chronic" masturbator.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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