Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize