this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
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You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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