Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
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You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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