too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize