did you get engaged???
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
