"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize