His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize