forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize