Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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