Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize