when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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