The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
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i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
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He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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