your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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