It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
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they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
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... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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