Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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