Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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