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i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
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