He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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