ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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