apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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