hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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