No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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