He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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