So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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