Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
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He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
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There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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