highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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