cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
