You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
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He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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