Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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