i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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